Chocolate Berry Tofu "Cheesecake" - Dairy & Gluten free/Vegan

I've always wanted to experiment with different kinds of baking - in particular for people with allergies and easy baking (few ingredients and steps). I always wished that they could enjoy the range of sweets and desserts that we can. After searching for many recipes, I've put off gluten free and dairy free baking just because it would take extra trips to different shops to get the ingredients. Also a lot of the recipes require a lot of ingredients that I don't normally use. Looking at the recipes, I give up as well. My style of baking is a few ingredients and simple method. So when a recipe require 3-4 different nuts, this kind of flour, this oil etc I think that it's too much effort.

Anyway, after months of putting it off and seeing that my colleague can't eat any of the baking I bring in (which I have to thank my colleagues for being my guinea pigs for and might be a good thing for her) I decided to search a bit harder. I found some gluten/dairy free biscuits at Countdown so I've got my base sorted, using coconut oil to replace the usual butter. Since it was first time using coconut oil, I wasn't sure how it would turn out but it was actually perfect. It also adds flavour to the base.

I was debating between rushing to a health food store to get dairy free cream cheese but since I finish work quite late I wasn't keen on the idea. Then I remembered that on the New Zealand MKR, one couple made a tofu cheesecake. After a quick search for the recipe, I got and was relieved there were no dairy/gluten ingredients. Also, there were only 3 major ingredients so it fit the bill perfectly. I also loved the fact that you could throw everything in the blender. So the filling has been taken from that recipe - which can be found here.

I was still a bit skeptical about how it would turn out but after making it, I was surprised at the flavours and consistency of the cheesecake. It was actually delicious even though the presentation wasn't MKR! Long story short, this had prompted me to write this up because it's one of the few recipes that easy, yum and only contains a few ingredients and equipment (I don't like to do a lot of washing!).

Choc Berry Tofu Cheesecake - gluten and dairy free, vegan.

INGREDIENTS

Base

250g Gluten Free Arrowroot biscuits
50ml Coconut oil


Filling

700g Smooth Silken tofu
200g dairy free choc (75% cocoa solids or Whittaker’s dark 60%- 75%
150 - 200ml Maple syrup

Optional ingredients
1tsp lime zest
1tsp vanilla paste
1 pinch sea salt


METHOD

Base

1. Line the bottom of a 23-25cm diameter springform tin with baking paper.

2. In a food processor, process all the base ingredients to a fine crumb.

3. Press the crumb into the bottom of the tin in an even layer, fairly firmly. Pop in the fridge.



Filling (adapted from http://mkrnz.co.nz/recipes/choc-berry-tofu-cheesecake)


1. First use a muslin cloth (or paper towel on a colander) to soak the liquid from the tofu, squeeze as much out as possible

2. Boil water in a small pot, add chocolate in small pieces to a heat proof bowl. Melt choc in bowl that's on top of the bowl.

3. Put tofu in to food processor, whiz till combined.

4. Add melted chocolate while whizzing.

5. Add maple syrup and the optional ingredients.

6. Whiz till smooth.

7. Add the chocolate mix on top and cool in the fridge to chill 15-20 mins or the freezer for 2-4 hours (if you want a cheese cake consistency)


Tips:
- I used the Trade Aid dark chocolate chips
- You could use a bit of gelatine dissolved in water if you want a firmer consistency – that would make it non-vegan
- If you don't have a blender/food processor, you can easily use a whisk and some arm muscle (like what I did)
 - The tofu I used was made for steaming so it was really soft and smooth so was easy to break apart - you can find this in most Asian Supermarkets
- I used golden syrup – but honey or any sweetener would work too. I only used 150ml so do it by taste

When life doesn't go your way...

*Warning.. may contain details that may disturb*

The situation

So a few weeks ago, we had our 6 week scan and was told that our baby was about a week behind - too small to see a heartbeat. Along with that, I had been spotting (which can be normal) but after having 2 previous miscarriages I wasn't holding much hope. Still.. I was bleeding so it should be ok... So off I went for another blood test. Great news, my hormones had more than doubled so the baby should be fine. Now I just need to wait a few weeks to do another scan. A few days later, I started bleeding. Still, it wasn't constant so the GP said it could be ok. He wanted to do a scan that day but everyone was full so again, I just had to wait for the results of the blood test.

Along came Sunday. All was going well until the afternoon, I suddenly lost a lot of blood and it wouldn't stop. I went home quickly thinking I could get changed, have a rest and continue on with my day. But the bleeding kept going and blood clots kept coming out - massive ones. We went to our local A&E and although they were nice, I was seen quickly, they couldn't help. The nurse saw the amount of blood I was losing and suggested we go to the hospital. So off we went. The Emergency Department was great - again I was seen to quickly before moving up to the Women's Assessment Unit where they could assess me further. They decided to keep me overnight for observation and said that it looks like my body is doing its thing to get rid of what it needs to. Hopefully I won't need to do the procedure to take out the remaining tissues.

How I feel

Emotionally, miscarriages can be hard. I had my cries in private and public. Physically, this time because I was already 8 weeks, it was really tiring too. I was lucky that I wasn't in pain but it just felt like giving birth all over again - only not as painful. By the time I was explaining my symptoms for the 4th time, I was so calm and told the doctors I already expected a miscarriage. She even commented that she was so surprised at how calm I was. I just said to her I know all the facts, there's nothing I can do or could have done to prevent it. I was just tired and wanted the bleeding and blood clots to stop.

Spiritually, it was a testing time. I didn't blame God for this but there was a time when I just felt like "I don't want this anymore. I know I will come out on the other side but I'm just tired". Just a week ago, we found out that one of our dogs had Melanoma and thankfully we changed groomers and they picked it up. I said to God that I know it's a blessing and remembering my favourite verse about being still and know that He is God... but I just didn't want it. I just want a normal life where I would have no problems getting pregnant - just have my 3 kids, have a  job that I love and home to live in. I would just continue to do what I need to do at church. All the other stuff, finance or whatever, we will make it work.

A lot of the times, people always ask "How do you know God is here?" Why do you still believe in God after all this? My answer would be that I know that He is here because in times when I should be panicking (like at the hospital) He's allowed Freeman and I to be calm. We have peace that whatever happens will happen and we just need to be in our best frame of mind to handle it. We don't always get the answer we want but He is here because even though we have lost another baby, we know that we will survive this. Our life is more than whether or not we will have more kids in the future. Miraculously, today Annabel decided to play with my Bible and this fell out.

The thanks.


God has given what I need. Without the people in my life, I wouldn't be able to get through this. I am grateful that I have a great support network.

I'm thankful that my family is so accepting of this even though they might not know how they can help but they were there to look after Annabel and our dogs while we were at the hospital. I'm thankful that they didn't judge (as I know many other have to go through) and was just there to help us.

My colleagues and manager for being so understanding - for the second miscarriage I was feeling bad that I was sad and felt like I shouldn't feel that way - because I've been told by others that "at least it wasn't further along like theirs so I'm lucky". When I told my manager that her response was "No, it doesn't matter how far along you were. It's still a loss of a life and you can grieve how you want to".

For Freeman's manager and allowing him time off to be with me.

I'm also grateful that Annabel has been so great throughout this. She probably doesn't full understand what's happening but she would always ask me if I'm ok and following that she would say "Let's hope the baby is ok too". We are really happy that not only God has given us a cute child but one who's got strong empathy and that's something that we can't teach. I was so happy to be able to see her the next day at the hospital.

Last but not least, I definitely wouldn't have done this without Freeman. Although he probably feels like he can't do much except watch me be in discomfort while the doctors did what they needed to do, the non - judgmental support and running around after me, cooking for me and looking after Annabel has helped me so much.

What next?

I don't know. Is this God's way of telling me something? Maybe. I know this year I have prayed about getting "rest" but with my personality, as soon as I have "spare time" or energy I fill it up with something else. Maybe this year is my year of rest.

Or maybe like this song.. when your world feels like it's falling apart and answers seem so far away, I just need to know I'm not alone and need to just be held.


And if you are going through a miscarriage, know that you are not alone. Ask for help if you need to. Find a group of supportive friends or get counselling to help you through this. It is not your fault. Statistics say 1 in 4 pregnancies end up in a miscarriage - many that we don't know about. Going by my stats, my rate is a lot higher with 1 in 4 pregnancies that was healthy (3/4 was a miscarriage). So don't give up!

3rd year parent

Parenting. The terrible twos. The terrific twos. Whatever you want to call it. Has life been easier or harder since Annabel has hit her twos? Am I an expert - no way. Once you think you've mastered and understood something about their growth and development, they throw another curveball at you. Some things, like her communication, eating, general brain development has been great. She is turning out to be a very observant little girl and can pick up skills really quick. Other things like her being hangry, battles before bedtime, testing and going over her boundaries intentionally has been trying times. After all that, she will sleep and have a nightmare and yell out for "Ma Ma"... and she becomes your little baby again.

Daycare has been an interesting experience. The staff and kids there have been great and very supportive. Overall she has improved a lot, becoming more confident and making new friends - loves the songs, dancing and instruments in particular. She doesn't even say bye to me and runs off to her friends. The exception is when dad drops her off. She still manages a cry. The bugs that come with that isn't so great. I've never been so sick in my life - well for a long time anyway. The first few months were horrible with her screaming, being angry when she came home and not leaving us - at all. I was almost considering to take her out from daycare and really regretted it.

Deciding whether to go to four days of work was a struggle too. However, I am thankful that I am able to cut 1 hour off each day to make up for the fourth day. The shorter hours have been great where I can get home faster and leave later. I'm grateful that God has given me a great place to work in and are generally supportive of family needs. My manager once said to me when I had to make a decision about a job, "Don't worry about your job. Do what's right for your family. Your work can replace you but your family can't". I almost burst into tears because I know how true it is. Life is short. Life happens. There's no discrimination when it comes to natural or unnatural disasters and diseases like cancer. I had to be reminded that my purpose here is to prepare for an eternal life.

Anyway, back to parenting. 

I find now the hardest thing to do is to control my temper. I don't know if it's the hot weather or what, but sometimes it's so hard to not get frustrated when you've asked her to sleep and she runs away or to share her toys a million times - and then she just gives you the cheekiest smile and says sorry - but you know she's not. It's also hard to know when she's genuinely made a mistake - like spilling things - or when she's done it on purpose. 

So as they become little human beings, I have to remind myself that we are both human. She's still learning and I'm still learning and ask for God's guidance. I really like this video from Pastor Francis Chan and his wife Lisa as they keep it real. The parenting part is a chapter from their book "You and me forever". The book itself is a marriage guidance book that focuses on getting your relationship right with God. They also have an app where you can download the book with videos and questions for you to complete.

 
Session 6 from You and Me Forever on Vimeo.

There will be days when I'm thankful that I have such a lovely daughter, then there are days that I think I can't make it and one is enough - haha. I guess it's all part of the journey and I really pray for God's grace and help. :)

Quick Guide to Melbourne..

We've been visiting Melbourne each year for the last 4 years that it really feels like a second home for us now. Each time it's different but we love it just as much.

A few of our friends are planning to go to Melbourne so I've decided to create a map of our favourite places.



Tourist Shuttle

If this is your first time visiting Melbourne, the tourist shuttle is a good option for you to explore the CBD and get your bearings - http://www.thatsmelbourne.com.au/visitors/transport/shuttle/Pages/VisitorShuttle.aspx

12 Apostles and Loch Ard Gorge

This was a new place for us to go to this year. Beautiful but windy place. 

Adriano Zumbo - South Yarra

Delicious desserts - Highly recommend the V8 cake and Zonut!

Annabel enjoying her cake :)

New year.. More Faith, Hope and Love

The end of the year is always a time to reflect. Looking back it has already been 2.5 years since I started this blog. I always talk about being so blessed all time but I don't think it's because I'm lucky, it's because I have a powerful guide, protector and mighty God behind me. 

What have I learnt in 2014?

Stay faithful, hopeful and loving. Faith is my favourite (and sometimes the hardest to have)  because I feel it drives us so much in our lives and affects our attitude in life. It doesn't matter if you don't believe in God but if you have faith you will stay hopeful and you will show love. We've seen so much hatred in this world because someone has lost faith in something which has caused them to see no hope and therefore show no love to people... And then people end up getting hurt. 

One of my favourite coffee places (Coffee Lab) recently posted this up and I think it is really nice and true:

"Faith makes all things possible

Hope makes all things work

Love makes all things beautiful".

This year I participated in a coffee secret santa which runs exactly on this. With faith you trust that this idea would work and hence the organisers putting in hours of work to make it happen, hope that you will receive coffee from someone else and so you will do the same, and love so you will get them the best coffee you can get (and maybe more).  It was an interesting experience and I've never seen so much excitement and positivity from any group. That's how we should be especially as Christians to make a positive impact.

Annabel reminds me everyday to have a kid-like appreciation to life. She claps every time she does something well, for herself. Sometimes we do need a bit of self encouragement too or we get beat down and think we aren't capable to do things. She gets excited at the tiniest things and laughs at the simplest things like our dogs chasing each other or their tail. As we grow up we lose this appreciation and start to become bitter and cynical.

What has happened in 2014?

A LOT. My grandma passed away. Annabel turned 1. I got a new job that is part time and close to home. I helped a friend deliver her baby. I got to go Christchurch and Melbourne. Annabel learning to crawl, stand and now walking confidently. She can also feed herself which makes things messy but fun. She is getting her own personality - a very determined, cheeky, outgoing (most of the time) little girl. And then there are also the times when she is naughty and is selective about what she wants. Starting my Certificate in Christian Studies and getting a really good grade in my first theological paper!!

We really thank God everyday for giving us a solution that was better than we had thought. Both of us were able to go part time so she gets us full time. The biggest challenge for us was to negotiate how we would parent her and the differences were a lot more than what I had thought! However, we have worked through that... So here's to the next year of challenges as she hits "terrific/terrible twos!!"

What will I do in 2015?

Same answer as usual. I don't know. I feel at peace with this "certain uncertainty" (quoted from Pastor Steve Furtick... I think!) because it makes things more interesting but mainly because it allows God to give me the best in my life. I know as a career counsellor there is definitely no certainty in any job so what we should work towards is how we will manage this change when it hits us. Just like our work situation, I couldn't have asked/dreamed of a better workplace, flexibility and being able to go home and it's still daylight is amazing.

There are a few things I will continue to do: I still hope I can be an inspiration to people, help those in need in particular spiritual/emotional needs, be a great mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, colleague, servant of God.

There are apparently a few runs I'm supposed to participate in as well... So watch this space! Haha

Here's to another exciting year!! 🎉🎉🎉

Melbourne - Part 2

Day Three

Our hunt for good coffee continues... 

After getting some wrong information from Beanhunter, the coffee place we wanted to go to was actually closed. Most specialty coffee places in the CBD are closed on the weekend so don't hope for much.

Postal Hall

116 Russell St, CBD

+ an average cup of coffee. On the milkier side.

++ yum smashed avocado on toast. 

++ ok prices for food

Brioche by Philip

114 Russell St, CBD (and other locations)

++ amazing coffee and pastries. Closest that we've had to NZ coffee

++ one of the only places with beans from origins we love - earthy ones

++ did I mention the pastries??

Chadstone Shopping Centre

1341 Dandenong Rd, Chadstone

Need I say more? 

We took the train to Hughsdale, walked for about 10 minutes on Poath Rd. Easier than getting on and off a bus. 

++ bought a pavlova cupcake. Wasn't great but the passionfruit icing/cream was yum.

++ Annabel found her new toys and got dad to buy them :)

-- great to visit especially if you love high end labels, but because it's so huge it's a bit confusing and you would do a lot of walking.

-- not a great range for food so we had Nandos. Very expensive compared to what we would get here in NZ.

Pho Flinders

233 Flinders St, CBD (and other locations)

After spending all my money on Annabel at H&M and Target, we had to go budget on the food. Actually we had walked along Southbank along the Yarra River and most of the restaurants were too high end for us and didn't look children friendly.

++ smelt really nice as we walked past. Only $9 for a small bowl, $10 for medium and $12 for large. Rice was $9 too.

++ tastes average - maybe don't get the rice but good for a quick and cheap meal

End of day three. Annabel enjoyed her walk back.

Day Four

First stop church. We chose to go to the Uniting Church Gospel Hall as it was close to us and is in Cantonese. 

Next time I will want to go to this one as I really like their name hehe

Mr Kitchen

319 Swanston Street, CBD

Quick stop for brekkie before going to Springvale.

++ nice, quick and cheap Asian breakfast

++ deep fried ghosts and soy milk were the best thing we got

-- congee was a bit on the watery side but again it was cheap and nice to have on a cold morning

Pho Chu The

17-19 Buckingham Ave, Springvale (and other locations)

Springvale is new to us. It is another Vietnamese town with lots of places to eat. This one was the one we went with my mum and her friends.

++ authentic pho, delicious soup with the rice (not like the usual MSG filled ones we get here)

++ great for kids - Bel got her own pho with pretty scissors to cut. Children friendly place

Seven Seeds

114 Berkeley St, Carlton (CBD fringe by Queen Victoria Markets)

++ nice cup of coffee and ice latte

++ pretty decor

++ the food looks good too but we only bought a lamington (and was quite dry)

-- almost missed it because the entrance is not obvious and the sign is on the wall

Flagstaff Gardens

West Melbourne

Nice park to walk and play with the kids.

Next to Queen Victoria Markets.

Something else to do besides eating and shopping hehe

Peek a boo

361 Queens St, CBD

We stumbled upon this one on our way back from Flagstaff Park. Owned by Hong Kong people.

++ nice cup of coffee especially if you like fruity/nutty flavours

++ Asian tasting coffee

++ cute little shop

-- jar cake did not taste as good as I'd hoped.

Mamak

366 Lonsdale St, CBD

Been craving this since Sydney.

++ delicious fresh roti with curry

++ great mee goreng (we asked for no spicyness)

++ no long queues like the Sydney one

-- not as good as the Sydney one, although some might prefer this one as it's more Chinese Malay than South Indian Malay

Day Five

Little Blue Bean

15 Little Collins St, CBD

++ good cup of coffee 

-- only open on weekdays 

We really love Melbourne. It is a very pretty and creative city. Reminds me of Christchurch. There are colours everywhere and they put a lot of thought into their designs. We will be back!!

Melbourne - Part 1

We decided to go on a trip before I was due back for work (that was before I got my new job) and Melbourne was the destination! We love Melbourne - it's technically Bel's second time and decided it was a good time to go because of the weather. The last two times I got really sick... So Melbourne winters don't work for me. Here is a digest of our 5 days.

Day one

We arrived at 9.00pm, had an awesome taxi driver (taxi cost $56 from airport to city) and arrived at the Mantra on Russell.

We were hungry so went to a random Chinese place on Russell to buy congee and noodles. Was to hungry to take photos 😄.

Mantra on Russell 

1 bedroom apartment

++Awesome location++

30 seconds to Chinatown, QV.

5 mins to Melbourne Central, GPO, Elizabeth Street.

10-15 mins to Queen Victoria Markets

 

+ spacious lounge/dining area

- As with most Australian hotels, decor seems dated even thought the room is quite new.

- bathroom/toilets are an ensuite so if you have a 3rd person, they need to come into the main bedroom to use the bathroom

Day two

Nothing was open around our area but we managed to find a China Bar (chain store) in the Target Centre. Limited menu available but was a good start.

Market Lane Coffee

Prahran Markets

++ nice decor, nice cup of coffee

++ cupping is normally on fri / sat at 10am so we just missed that

++ lots of coffee gear available

Prahran Markets

Off Chapel St, South Yarra/Prahran

++ love this market. Heaps of fresh fruit and veges. 

++ my personal favourite market

Master Roll Vietnam

169 Toorak Road, South Yarra

++ maybe it was a super hot day but it was one of the best banh mi that I've had. 

++ fresh bread and pork belly was delish

-- the only that that could make it better is the pate

Einstein's Relative

1/9 Yarra St, South Yarra

++ freeman liked this coffee more than Market Lane Coffee

++ good cup of coffee - reminded us of our brother - in - law Francis' coffee

Melbourne Central

Melbourne CBD

Much of it has stayed the same, except now there is the Shot Tower building which is joined to La Trobe Building, which is joined to the Emporium, which is joined to David Jones. We didn't shop much but used the parents retreat on L2 the most. It's one of the best parents room I've been to. Lots of space for kids to play, ropes to climb on, tv, play kitchen, wooden train table, picnic table for families to eat on, spacious colourful breastfeeding rooms. It is definitely a retreat for parents.

New Shanghai Restaurant

Melbourne Emporium, CBD

++ Happy hour was great. You could choose a dish and drink for really good prices. Xiao long bao and drink was about $6 and fried rice and drink was $10.

-- not the best xiao long bao's but when you have a hungry kid with hungry parents it works out well. Plus it's cheap.