The beginning.. again

The name. This was taken from my previous blog (I Du too - Du being my last name) that recorded the preparation of my wedding. Now after inspiration from Hillsong Conference and what Joyce Meyer said "don't just date God, marry Him". It would probably sound weird to those who aren't Christians but it really woke me up and thought "Yes - even though I was born into church, things became routine, I knew all the things I should do, but was I excited about the relationship I had with God?" That night, really changed my life again. So here I am saying I Du.. Again. Another thing that really inspired me from the conference was to step out and act on what we say we would.

My story begins with my dad I guess. After the war in Vietnam, he had to leave my mum and sister, with his family on a journey in a wooden boat all the way to New Zealand. During the time of the storms, he knew that he couldn't just say he would commit his life to God and had to mean it. So ever since then, even with all the opportunities presented to him (even though to most people it would have been the best thing to do) he came to New Zealand with a heart for God. He has been preaching the gospel until now and have a passion for saving people.

For me, I've always been at church, served at church, understood what I was supposed to do. I had faith in God. He directed me throughout my whole life and I served in church with my heart. The first time I really decided to commit to God was in high school where I saw a lot people from school go clubbing (they were all a year older than me) and then go to school the next day all tired and miserable. I thought to myself, this isn't what I want for my life and knew there had to be something better. So from then on, I got baptised, took on many leadership roles for our youth ministry and everything was great. I went to university, chose biology as my major as it was the 'closest' to something I would enjoy doing at university (geography wasn't an option as it was not seen as a proper subject to do). I failed miserably and decided I would change instead. From there I ended up studying Geography, Stats and Education. 4.5 years later, I finished and thought now what. After a month of stressing, trying to apply for roles in marketing but realised they all required a marketing degree. I then wished I studied marketing even though I knew it didn't feel right. Afterwards, I remembered that I was supposed to have faith in God. So instead of stressing I prayed. I stopped applying for any role and saw one as a receptionist for a careers centre at university. I applied, interviewed and got the job. After working there, I realised that careers consulting is what I would enjoy doing so I studied towards that. Looking back, I would not have imagined what would be possible. First off, I didn't even know careers consulting existed.

Long story short, my life was still really good after that. I met my husband at church - again something I would never imagine as he was definitely not what I had planned for. However, things changed in the last few months. Things weren't going as smooth. I got really depressed and started crying every second day and again thought..What does God want me to do? I went to church, I still had passion in playing the piano and with our youth group, "I gave my control to Him"... but I was still unhappy... then I found out I wasn't doing enough. And although I gave Him control, the worries I had in my life was not controlled by Him. It was controlled by me - what should I do next, when do I want a baby, where should I work...

So my story and journey continues...