Yesterday, a student fell from the top level of the building where I work. Unfortunately a lot of students were witnesses to this tragedy as it was inside the building and I saw the aftermath (I really thank God that my plans had somehow changed so I actually missed seeing the fall - if I saw it, I think I would be in an even worse state). My first thoughts were - is it a student that I've seen? Did I miss something and could have helped him? Turns out it was a student I know but not too well. The sadness hit me almost immediately. I was shaking but had to see my second student who seemed indifferent to what had happened. Two weeks ago, a non-student hung himself in one of our gardens. Yesterday was his memorial service. Last week, I saw a girl crying and I thought she was breaking up with her boyfriend until she shouted "I can't get a B, I need to get an A". My regret was I didn't stop to comfort her.
I feel sad that there is so much emphasis on getting a tertiary education and don't get me wrong, I believe that going to study is really important. Lately there have been so many stories about students not being able to get jobs and the competition between students is incredible. They panic each other and more and more I have to do damage control. The flip side is that students then end up with so much pressure that it might only take one bad exam to tip them over the edge. We will never know what made these students choose to do what they did. I hope that we don't have a trend that will continue. I hope that students who are under pressure and stress seek help. That's the best advice I can give. No matter how hard things seem and it feels like things can't change - go talk to someone, pray, see a counsellor, anything. Your education is important but it's not the end of the world if things don't go the way as planned. Many successful people have failed in life and that's what makes them stronger and successful. But definitely seeking help, as hard as it may be, is so important. I pray that students who are in need can get the help and support that they need.
I will never look at that area and students studying before their exams the same again. My greatest fear in my job has always been - will I miss someone, could have helped them so that they don't end their life in tragedy? And who will be next?
Today was a nice one. I went out with some colleagues to buy some flowers for the little memorial we have in the place that it had happened. I felt that it gave me some strength to face that area again - I have to walk past it almost every day. It also gave me some peace, knowing that he is in a better place and people do care. I hope his family is getting support too and that God will look after his family in this time. I'm glad that some of colleagues were by him before his last breath, giving him comfort and peace in the spiritual sense.
I accidentally deleted the photos of the flowers I got, so here is the other one that I bought to remind myself and others that there is alway HOPE. And perhaps more than ever, we need God's love and His reign over us. A song that I am listening to is "Lord won't You reign" by Journey of 7 (http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/journeyof7). Hopefully it can help everyone during this time.
King of kings and Lord of lords
The name above all names
Ever lasting word of God
The author of my life
Jesus, you're everything I'm not
And I need your goodness in my life
So Lord won't You reign
Reign over us
Take hold of us
Bring me to Your side
So Lord won't You reign
Reign over us
Fill this heart of mine
And give it all to You
Reign over us
Son of man and Son of God
The Shepherd of my soul
Take away all my burdens
And nail them on the cross
Jesus, you're everything I'm not
And I need your goodness in my life
Heaven and earth will pass away
But Your love will never ever fade
Deep down in my heart
I know there is nothing good
So help me put my trust in You
.JPG)
